He Still Helps the Blind See
by Patricia L. Ferguson

But the list of "Don'ts" didn't stop with holidays and special celebrations. We weren't allowed to play with other kids unless they were Jehovah's Witnesses. None of us were allowed to sing any patriotic songs, or say the pledge of allegiance. My mother was forbidden to vote, and dads were forbidden to fight for their country. Most of our time had to be spent telling others the "good news of the kingdom" because we supposedly had such a short time before the end. 

I began wondering what we could do. We could go to five meetings a week, put in 10 hours a month going from door-to-door, and have at least one Bible study a month. Not that there was anything wrong with these things, but the problem was that all of these "works" were tied to our salvation. None of us could live up to all of these requirements, so many of us went around feeling guilty most of the time. Simply put, we were all trying to earn everlasting life.

We were told by the Watchtower Society that we were the only ones who would survive Armageddon. For us to make it through Armageddon, however, we had to remain faithful to the end- faithful to the Organization that is. We were told not to even listen to any "non-Witness" religious teachings because God would not be pleased with us if we did. We also used the bible printed by the Watchtower Society, called The New World Translation. (I later learned it contained many blatant mis-translations and errors.)

I really wanted to live up to all these requirements, but I was still a child and all of these things were so boring. I found myself turning more and more to the things I enjoyed doing. I had a nice solo voice in those days, so my Mama let me take voice lessons. In fact, I even began singing solos at various school functions, plays and operettas. Even though Mama remained strong in her faith, I don't think she saw anything wrong with me performing, since there were so many other things I couldn't do. I got more involved in the things that made me happy, even being a cheerleader for one year during high school. Ironically, though all of these things mattered so much to me, I still tried to be a good Jehovah's Witness. I longed for a close friend but really couldn't let anybody get too close for fear I would have to tell them about my faith. I also longed to go to a church where there were more young people my age.

When boys began asking me to go on dates, my mother really didn't like the idea; but my father was not a witness and he said I could go. There also weren't any boys my age at the Kingdom Hall. In time, I ended up falling for the man who is now my husband. Of course, he did not accept my religion, but it didn't matter to me then since I was so in love with him. I believed that in time he would come around. I would have loved to have walked down the aisle of a big church in my wedding, but that was simply out of the question. Instead, we were married in the Methodist Parsonage down the street. Mama said she wouldn't go, but changed her mind at the last minute. 

The months following our wedding were very busy, so busy that I just quit going to the Kingdom Hall. I wasn't disfellowshipped or publicly reproved; I just stopped going. We were unbelievably happy for seven years. I occasionally had twinges of guilt about turning my back on everything I thought was right, but life was very good. My husband had attended Officer Candidate School in New Port, Rhode Island. (How could I, a Witness, be married to a man in the Navy, when they didn't even believe in going to war. I guess this bothered me most of all.) After he was commissioned as an officer in the Navy, we moved to California. After spending some time there, he was sent back to New Port. While in New Port, I gave birth to our little daughter. It was then that I began to feel my responsibility for the spiritual welfare of my child. I began to feel so guilty that I returned to the only religion I had ever known. My husband was so upset with me. He wanted us to go to church as a family in a Christian church. I had been taught that all of Christendom's churches were part of the "World Empire of False Religion." Our different religious views ended up causing a lot of conflict. But I held on to my belief that the Watchtower Society was "God's mouthpiece" and that they were the only ones who could disseminate "meat in due season." 

After a few more years we had a son, and I taught both my children all the things I believed. Thinking back, I often wonder how I could have taught my children all the things that had made me so miserable? I guess I believed I had to be miserable in this life to attain the next one. I studied the Paradise book with them, and made sure they understood they would receive life on earth, and not heaven. Since my traveled so much, it was much easier for me to influence them. My children and I went to meetings and to assemblies without my husband, and every time we left, my husband got a little upset that we were going.

My strong belief in the Society's teachings continued until 1975-the year that the Society predicted Armageddon would occur. (I later found out that they had predicted the end several times prior to that date.) That's the first time I really began to question the authority of the Watchtower Society. Two years later, in 1977, my daughter decided she was going to marry a young Witness man. She was 17 years old at the time, and her decision hurt my husband deeply. In fact, it nearly destroyed our marriage. By 1979, I had quit going to meetings at the Kingdom Hall, even though I still held tightly to the Society's teachings. I knew that I would have to return to the Organization one day if I ever wanted to receive everlasting life (as if any Organization had the power to give eternal life!). 

By the time I had totally stopped attending meetings, our son was in college. (My husband was determined he would go to college, even though the Society frowned on it.) My husband and I started getting along better, and I got a job outside of the home. In addition to working, I stayed busy with my house and yard. But each time I would hear of some calamity in the world, I would always wonder if this was the beginning of the end. In the back of my mind, there was always a gnawing question, "Could they really be right after all?"

By 1988, our son had graduated from college. A few days after his graduation, he moved to Atlanta, Georgia to start his new career. Over the next two years, he roomed with a friend he had known since grade school. During this time, our son's friend received Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Within a few months of his friend's new faith in Christ, our son had begun to compare what he had been taught growing up as Jehovah's Witness with what he was hearing from his roommate. After comparing the Society's teachings with what he was hearing and seeing in the Bible, our son realized that he had never known "the truth" about the God revealed in the Bible. Our son surrendered His life to the Lord in March 1991. At first, our son began sharing with his sister. She would get so mad that she would tell him she was going to hang up if he mentioned the name "Jesus" one more time. To make a long story short, she and her husband were both saved and baptized in a Christian church a few years later.

At the same time, my son had also begun calling and sharing his new faith with me. He is probably one of the few people who could share with me because he knew what Jehovah's Witnesses believe. We would talk on the telephone for hours. He (through the Holy Spirit) broke down the barriers one by one. With the help of the Spirit, I began to see that I had been in spiritual darkness practically all of my life. I also began to see that there was still time to do something about it. By now, many precious years had gone by. The year was 1996, and I knew I had found the real Truth. Jesus said, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life." The Truth is not found in an organization or a particular religion. The Truth is found only in Jesus Christ. When Jesus called his disciples, he said, "Follow Me." So, I decided to follow Jesus alone. I received Jesus as my Savior, and I even began attending a Christian church where I was later baptized. 

What I found at this Christian church was not at all what I had been told while I was a Jehovah's Witness. As a Witness, I had been told that Christendom's churches were from the devil, and that the people who attended them were cold and had no real knowledge of the Bible. What I found was just the opposite. I found warm and caring people who really knew their Bible. In fact, I began to realize how little I had known Scripture. I realized that as a Witness, I had only known a handful of verses that I used as "proof." Unfortunately, I had often used those verses out of context when trying to prove Watchtower doctrine. It was just like Jesus' healing of the blind when He walked the earth. I had been blind, but now I could see.

To make things even better, the Lord eventually saved my husband as well. Today, he teaches our Sunday School class and is a deacon in our church. In addition to worshipping the Lord with my husband, I also get to use my voice again to sing God's praises every Sunday in our Choir. At the age of 65, I can truly say I have never been happier. I owe it all to our Lord who died for me, who sent the Holy Spirit to open my eyes. Thanks to Him, I can now say what the blind man said after he encountered Jesus, "I can see. I can see."